New Year “resolutions” 2016 ( part 2)

I don’t see what I have planned for myself as a resolution, nor as a resolve to do anything in particular to improve myself, nor as a way to move forward with my life, nor my way of living. Rather I see it as a change of life, a fundamental shift in my focus, a grasping of what can be better for me. A taking hold of myself if you like. Β I feel it goes beyond a resolution. It comes from the core of my being. It is in fact positive action on my part to stand up and feel strong, to feel as if I am taking charge of my life again after a period of frustration, distraction and malaise. Hence the inverted commas in the title.

I began my break from alcohol yesterday. I suppose the only advantage of the New Year period is that it does provide a “natural” time and logical impetus to begin anew, so I think it was the right time for me to take action about something that has been on my mind for a long time now. If I had not grasped the nettle, so to speak, I know that within me I would feel a form of defeat, a lack of respect for myself in my inability to stand up to the bully beating me from within.

So last night was fine. The first night since God knows when that I didn’t have a drink. I was still buzzing from my decision, so there was no desire to open one or both of the cans that are all that remain of the Christmas stock. I feel exactly the same today so no worries. Bedtime was early last night ( 8.30 ! ) as I felt exhausted and I have a new Patricia Cornwell book to read. I’m looking forward to the improved sleep that one gets from the absence of alcohol in the system and last night was going well ’til one of our cats decided that 4.30 was her time to be active around the room.

Ear plugs tonight !

Advertisements

About queasypaddy

I am a musician, sometime poet and songwriter, a budding artist and a separated, retired primary school teacher, in a happy relationship which is caring, sharing and supportive.
This entry was posted in My word ! and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to New Year “resolutions” 2016 ( part 2)

  1. williekeegan says:

    Build yourself up for the first social occasion. Strangely, in our culture not drinking is looked on with suspicion. You’ll find yourself having to defend your stance. Drinking is considered ‘normal’, not drinking is considered to be very ‘abnormal’ and requiring an explanation. Odd, but that’s the world we live in today.
    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s