New Year ” resolutions ” part 3

As regards taking a break from alcohol, it’s not so much the social occasions that cause me concern. Over the years I’ve thoroughly enjoyed nights out on the “dry”, taking my turn as the designated driver. Nights Β not driving were always a different matter entirely ! We don’t have a hectic social life anyway and the nearest pub is a drive away.

Rather it’s the incidental times. Being out and about and dropping in for a quick pint. Calling into a house and accepting the hospitality of the host. Being in town with time to fill before catching the bus home. Where better to spend that time than in a pub, fluting around on Facebook or just people watching, creamy pint in hand ?

Really it’s been very easy to drop in for a quick one over the years. And no matter what day of the week, time of the day, season of the year it was, there was always a welcoming jar somewhere nearby.

Trouble is, it was becoming more frequent, more often the first option, more often the first thought entering my mind going anywhere. And more often not “just the one”.

Not just the incidental times either. It’s the drinking at home times also. We enjoy our time sitting down at the end of the day with a glass of wine. Problem is my glass of wine morphed into multiple cans of beer.

In a way last night was my first test. Vivien was out for the afternoon while I was at home blogging. As soon as she walked in I could feel the tension within because I knew this was that time of the day when the glass was filled. Preparing the dinner, setting the table was all done with a knot in my stomach and the feeling of something catching in my chest and throat.

By the time we sat down to eat and I had filled her glass with wine and mine with water, I was fine. I was expecting it to happen. I had prepared myself for it. I felt great this morning in spite of waking at 5.30. I’m still waiting for that great night’s sleep.

Let’s see how tonight goes.

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About queasypaddy

I am a musician, sometime poet and songwriter, a budding artist and a separated, retired primary school teacher, in a happy relationship which is caring, sharing and supportive.
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