Ok . It’s been nearly a week since I’ve sat down to write about my continuing break from alcohol. This period of ” non- blogging ” was not planned. It just happened that way. However all the while thoughts were running through my mind as regards what I would write about, what I would share, my thoughts feelings and so on. I did not abandon you, sweet blogging site.
So what’s been happening on my journey ? How have I been coping ? Have I had any amazing insights ?
First thing to say is that my resolve has been tested and I pulled through. I’m still on my break in spite of one or two hairy moments. The first was Friday night when Viv’s daughter came to visit and pulled from her bag a bottle of red wine, knowing that we enjoy our wine. She didn’t know about my abstinence ! What surged through me was like a shot of electricity, from the ground up. It only lasted a fleeting second, but boy was it intense ! The situation was explained and after laughs all round, I shared my Diet Coke with her, which pleased her greatly as she rarely drinks and that is her drink of choice.
Saturday evening was more of a struggle. We called in to see people. Dinner was being prepared. A bottle of wine was opened and glasses offered. I declined and explained. No pressure from our hosts. I had a cup of coffee. ‘Though we didn’t stay for dinner, we shared their starter, ( grilled tomato topped with garlic and thyme and sprinkled with olive oil. Tasteeeeeeee ! ) sitting around the table talking and catching up. As the minutes passed I became more and more on edge thinking that I would have a drink once we got home. Strange thing is, once we left the house and sat in the car I was fine. There wasn’t a bother on me for the rest of the night ! It was a close shave though.
Twice since then I have sat in bars, sipping non-alcoholic beer, happy as a pig in …. ! I still love the feeling when I wake in the mornings, knowing that another night has been successfully ticked off. I’m hoping that I’ll get beyond the counting of individual days and that I can just glide through this time with less and less effort. Because, believe me, it has taken a lot of mental effort and I am getting pissed off with that. I want my mind back, because I have plenty of other things to occupy it with.
I’m not sure what I can say about insights, but I do feel that there has been some form of change happening inside my brain. I’m beginning to feel that there is some fundamental shift in there. What it is I’m not sure yet but I’ll be keeping an eye on it and hopefully will be able to describe and explain it down the line. At the moment I feel it’s a change of attitude towards this whole drink thing, which if it is , is no bad thing.
For the time being, I’ll just keep on keeping on 😉